Feeling bewildered and uneasy, I followed orders and proceeded to the dining room, where our son Jake was seated. I questioned him quietly, “Hey, do you know what’s up with Mom?” as I took a seat next to him. A smile stretched across Jake’s face as he looked up from his cereal. “Don’t you remember what happened last night, Dad?”I shook my head, attempting to reconstruct the hazy recollections. With a laugh, Jake went on, “You came home pretty inebriated. You went upstairs and jumped into bed with Mom still in your jeans and shirt because you were so lost.” The memories began to resurface as Jake spoke. My brother’s bachelor celebration ended, and I had a hard time finding a cab.
Though my friends were laughing, I felt like I was doing a very good job of controlling myself. I eventually succeeded in hailing a cab, slouching into the backseat and giving the driver a mumbled address. “Home, James!” I exclaimed to him, but then I corrected myself, asking, “Wait, your name isn’t James, is it?” I had to fight sleep during the very exhilarating cab journey. When we got there, I scrambled for cash, giving the driver an excessive tip and exclaiming, “Keep the change, good sir!” as if I were a knight coming home from a mission. While trying to get my key into the lock, the front door vanished from sight. I kept trying, and eventually I managed to pry the door open and staggered inside.I was in the kitchen, starving to death. I attempted to fill a glass that I discovered, but my coordination was lacking. When I threw the glass to the ground, it broke into pieces. I laughed at my own joke and whispered, “Oops, it’s a disco in here.” I hoped Allison hadn’t woken up by the noise. Moving toward the stairs felt like going up a mountain. Every stride appeared to go on forever. I was out of breath and more than a touch unsteady by the time I reached the top. I slipped inside the bedroom, trying to be as quiet as possible, and noticed that the door was slightly ajar. With Allison sound sleeping, the only light in the room was the faint glow from the nightlight. I used to think that my stealth tactics were excellent. With a sigh, I fell fully clothed onto the bed. With blurry eyes, Allison looked at me as she stirred and woke up.“You’re coming home late,” she remarked quietly.I theatrically whispered back, “Shhh,” “I have returned from a perilous journey.” She tried to assist me in undressing as she sat up. Her words, “Let me help you with your jeans,” tugged at my waist. “No, no,” I said, shoving her away. “Leave me alone, lady! I’ve tied the knot!” Allison stopped trying to undress me and giggled gently. She covered me with the covers and gave me a forehead kiss. She spoke “Goodnight, Sir Lancelot,” with a hint of humor. One more idea occurred to me as I laid there, starting to nod off. “I love you, Allison,” I had whispered as I took hold of her hand. You are my beloved princess. In return, she gave me a firm squeeze on my hand, which sent me into a deep, drunken sleep. I turned to face Jake in the dining room and gave him a shy grin. “Well, I guess I made quite an impression.”I thought back on our life together over breakfast. We had experienced a great deal together: raising children, changing jobs, financial hardships, and individual tragedies. Yet Allison had been my pillar of support during it all. Our family had been strong because of her love, patience, and steadfast support. I came to the realization that I had to give back and spend more time with her. I took Allison’s hand and showed her to the living area after breakfast. “Allison,” I started out by saying, “I apologize for how I’ve been ignoring you. I swear to make more time for us since I adore you more than anything.”Tears formed in her eyes as she turned to face me. “You should feel your love for me more often; I know you do. Together, let’s work on this. We talked about our goals, anxieties, and future plans for the remainder of the day. We seemed to be finding the connection that first drew us together, reestablishing a deeper connection. Regardless of how busy we were, we committed to making time each week for date nights. I tried hard to put our connection first as the weeks went by. We watched our favorite movies, took long walks, and even spent a weekend away in the mountains. We were able to regain the intimacy and trust we had lost with each tiny act of love and care.
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